A New Understanding

I did my best to get back on the road and make my way south yesterday, but didn't get too far. I collapsed on the side of the road after 4 miles and had to spend the last few dollars I had on a flophouse hotel near Henderson Nevada. The jetlag is still getting to me, and I have been trying to come to terms with leaving my home in Thailand and coming here to be surrounded with all the dysfunction of the western world. Today I watched a couple of crackheads beating each other bloody on the side of the road over a drug deal gone bad when I was going to the mini-mart to buy some Ramen noodles. There are plenty of things wrong with the place I just came from, but I never saw this kind of violence on a regular basis. Last night, I had some guy pounding on my door looking for his drug dealer that had this apartment before I did and I found a ton of drug paraphernalia when I checked into the room. Not pretty.

Even with all it's faults, this place I checked into does have WIFI. I've been able to access Facebook, email, and what not with my funky Japanese laptop that I got from a discount second hand store in Thailand before I left. The keys are all in Japanese, but I got the OS running in English. As long as I just type and not look at the keys it's fine. There was a reason it was dirt cheap.

I was able to get a SKYPE call into Thailand this evening and talk with a few friends. This was a huge help in my morale even though more than a few tears were shed in the process. It was nice to speak Thai again for a little bit and share a few moments with good friends. I finally understand the plight of many immigrants who come here with hopes of making money and then have a hard time adjusting. Many Thai people try to immigrate to the US, but about 80% always end up returning to Thailand eventually because they have trouble making the cultural adjustments. It's no fault of their own, and I can now understand how difficult that process can be. It is a night and day comparison between cultures.

That's all for me right now. Still looking for work, and hoping the best.

As always, take care of yourselves and each other out there.

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Day Two Back in the USA

Still jetlagged, still unemployed, and now flat broke. How's that for a homecoming? I know that I was facing an indefinite prison term in a Thai jail if I stayed in Thailand. I am grateful for all those who helped me in my time of need, but I can't help but wonder which of the two evils is the lesser.

Today was another few dead ends looking for work, and tomorrow I will be on the street again, in a quite literal sense. I've done my best to find my way around here in this city on foot. It's a bit bigger than what I'm used to, but not impossible. I've done my best to source assistance where I can, but there's alot of people here that have been doing the same for a good long time before I got here.

Tomorrow I will be back on the road. I'll check out of my hotel and get my $100 deposit back. From there I don't quite know what's next. I have found a weekly rental for a few dollars more about a mile away, but that might just be prolonging the inevitable. I need to get moving and see where the road takes me.

I know that with the whole court case in Thailand, it was far from an easy situation to be in. With that said, it's hard to believe right now that three days ago I had a home, a job, and a life. Sure it wasn't ideal, but I had some stability despite the legal troubles. In my deepest heart of hearts I am truly sad to have left all that behind. I had found a sense of inner peace there despite all that I had been through. My heart aches and I feel a deep sense of loss.

Right now I need to remember the teachings I received there and do my best to plug along. I learned a long time ago to stop chasing "wants" and go after "needs" per my Buddhist teachers. Wanting things only gets you into trouble because you can't take it with you when you're dead. Making yourself a better person is the true goal, and it will come back to you. Since I have been living this lifestyle, I have seen some amazing things happen. I don't want to start a religious or cultural debate, but I will tell you that the other half of the world believes in the "Do unto others" philosophy despite never having read a Bible. It's just simple math.

I know one Burmese guy that never got down about anything. The Thai Government had deported him several times, but he kept getting back in. I crossed a few borders with him back in the day and not once did I need a passport to do so. Little hard to do from here, but I learned something very important from him. That one thing is "never stop moving forward. It's the only direction you can go". Time will not wait, it is a constant in the universe. Actions are what determines your path and time sets the pace. You have to either keep up or get the heck out of the way.

Now it's my turn to decide. I have to either keep moving forward or get out of the way. Not an easy choice, but forward looks like a good option. It's a small miracle that I'm still alive today. Surviving America will be the next step.

Sorry for the long blog post, but if you got this far I thank you for reading. I'm not sure when I will have the chance to post again, so I wanted to make the best of it while I could.

As always, take care of yourselves and each other.

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Repatriation Part 2

Late last night I finally made it into Las Vegas. The jetlag is near crippling, and I have no time to adjust. My head is pretty fuzzy and emotions are running wild. Just trying to function at this point is tricky. My energy level is running at the lowest it's been in years. I remember this feeling, and I remember that I really don't like it much. Trying to put it into words is even difficult. The only thing I can compare it to is that it's like going from the frying pan to the fryer. I'm trying to stay positive as I run down potential employment. I'm too tired to move and too broke to stop. What a combo.

The one thing that it is really difficult to get my head around is the cost of living in the fryer vs the frying pan. In the last 24 hours that I've been back in the states, I have spent more money than I did the last month in Thailand. Here's a quick comparison if anyone is interested.

Taxi from the Airport to the low rent district:

Las Vegas - $39

Chiang Mai - $3

Cheap Hotel in the low rent District:

Las Vegas - $30

Chiang Mai - $5

Quick Meal on the street:

Las Vegas - $5

Chiang Mai - $1

I could go on, but I think you get the picture. The real indicator of what things were ahead was the money exchange in Korea. There I was, all cashed up and going home. In my hand I held just a little over 10,000 in Thai currency. A large sum of money for most of the people I know. It was time to turn it into US Dollars. So, what does 10,000 Thai baht get you in US dollars? About $300 bucks ...OUCH!! For what I will end up spending in the next few days, I could have paid the rent on my apartment in Thailand for 3 months!! That's a hard thing to come to grips with.

More updates coming as soon as I can.

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Repatriation

Last minute delays and scheduling changes have thrown a monkey wrench into the works, but I am now back in the US. The flight from Korea landed on time in LA, but there were no gates open to offload the plane. With less than an hour to change planes already from the international to domestic terminals, it just wasn't in the cards. Delta was willing to reschedule my flight, but it will be later rather than sooner. Still waiting to see how that's going to turn out and where and when exactly I will end up.

At this point I have now been awake and traveling for nearly 36 hours. Here's the schedule so far. I am extremely exhausted and just trying to put one foot in front of the other.

3 Hours: Chiang Mai Police Station, Chiang Mai THailand

9 Hours: Immigration Control, Chiang Mai Thailand

2 Hours: Chiang Mai International Airport Immigration office

4 Hours: Korean Airlines flight 668 to Seoul Korea

7 Hours: Incheon International airport, Seoul South Korea

10 Hours: Korean Airlines Flight 17 to LAX

????? Hours: Los Angeles International airport

I tried to do my best to anticipate and prepare myself for "reverse culture shock", but I had no idea how it would affect me. It is intense! I truly feel like a fish out of water. I did wander by the LAX international boarding terminal earlier this afternoon and passed a couple Thai buddhist monks on the sidewalk outside. I gave them the usual greeting in thier own language and customs and they just about fell over in astonishment! We had a nice brief chat in Thai about thier favorite temple sites in Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai. That was about the most normal I felt all day. I bought a hamburger just for the heck of it and it was horrible. Adding insult to injury was knowing how much it cost. Same as a weeks worth of food where I had just come from. There is a Thai food shop here in the airport, but the prices were more than the lousy hamburger. Definitely not the same as what I'm used to.

More updates as soon as I can.

Hitting the road

It's down to the end game for me and the Kingdom of Thailand. I will be flying out in just about 24 hours of this post. After nearly two years, I must admit that leaving this place is going to be bittersweet despite the hardships I have had here. This country, it's culture and it's people saved my life when I was in my darkest hour. For those who remember the "old me" from those days, it wasn't a pretty sight. I've come a long way since then, and returning to the states makes me a bit fearful of slipping back into that place. I've got to be strong and stay focused to make this transition back into western culture and society. I could probably write volumes at the moment with all the thoughts running through my head, but I will try to keep this short and save the rest for the book.

I currently have a flight leaving the Kingdom Thursday night, but as of yet, I still have not been able to get my passport back. I am hoping another trip to the police station in the morning will resolve this once and for all. It's an essential piece of this puzzle that has to fall into place within the next 24 hours or the whole thing falls apart. I am fairly confident that things will go smoothly tomorrow, but I've been told it will be a full day of paperwork and formalities. I call it the "Thai tap dance" where you run around government buildings from office to office and get papers stamped signed and what not.

More news to follow soon, and the next blog post will most likely be from Korea as I make my first pit stop on the way back to the US.

Stay safe out there everybody and be good to each other.

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BREAKING NEWS!! New Court Order

I just got word this afternoon that my paperwork is finally finished at the courthouse. Today is Friday, so they have requested that I come in and pick it up on Monday the 22nd. I don't have much more detail than that at the moment, and I probably won't until I actually get there and get the court order handed over to me.

The most likely scenario is that I will be picking up the paperwork on Monday and may need to arrange a flight on the same day. I will need to personally deliver the court order papers to the local police who still have my passport. The US Consulate here has agreed to help coordinate with the local police to ensure what hopefully will be a smooth transition of paperwork and protocol. I am still unsure of whether or not I will be taken into custody again while they sort out the next step, but I have my fingers crossed that I will be able to act on my own behalf through the process.

Bottom line is that I could be on a flight back to the states as early as Monday or Tuesday. I have a lot of mixed emotions going through my mind at the moment, and just trying to stay focused on the task at hand is certainly not easy. Money is still pretty tight for getting a ticket out, but it looks like I might just squeeze through. It's going to be close.

More news will be up as soon as I get it.

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Smuggled Dogs Rescued From Slaughter By Thai Authorities

Saw this on the local news here last night. Details from The Huffington Post and video from Reuters below. Disturbing stuff, but an all too common occurrence here.

Over one thousand dogs intended for consumption were rescued by Thai authorities on Thursday evening, reports AFP.

Four trucks were stopped in the Nakhon Phanom province of northeastern Thailand. According to the Daily Mail, police swooped in with two raids near the Laos border. The trucks were stacked high with dogs stuffed into tiny cages, and 119 dogs were already dead.

According to a Nakhon Phanom livestock development official, the dogs died either from suffocation, or from being thrown from the trucks when the alleged traffickers tried to flee the scene.

The dogs were being sent across a Laos river and into Vietnam. Police case officer Captain Prawat Pholsuwan told AFP that two Thai men and a Vietnamese man have been charged with trafficking and illegally transporting animals. The men face a maximum punishment of one year in jail and a fine of up to $670.

According to police, traffickers are known to round up stray dogs in rural Thai villages, and sell them for up to $33 per dog in Vietnam.

The Daily Mail reports that these dogs were “destined to be cooked and eaten.”

According to the news source, there are 13 countries that still consume dog meat. In Indonesia, the Batak Toba culture is reportedly known to cook a dog meat dish named “saksang."

In April, hundreds of dogs were rescued from slaughter in Beijing, China thanks to a group of animal activists. According to the Associated Press, the activists blocked a truck transporting the dogs, and negotiated for their release in exchange for $17,000.

While most reactions to these incidents are ones of horror, and many cultures are disturbed by the thought of eating a dog, some have asked -- what is the real difference between eating dog meat and cow meat? Or eating any other animal for that matter?

While the condition that these dogs were found in is considered atrocious, many other animals face similar mistreatment in the United States.

Earlier this summer, Mercy for Animals, a Chicago-based animal welfare group, unveiled to the public undercover videos of livestock mistreatment.

The Associated Press reported that in the video, “sows are shown in small cages, known as gestation crates, that limit their ability to move, and workers are shown castrating piglets and removing their tails without anesthetics…There are repeated shots of workers tossing piglets across a room.” The Huffington Post