Thailand´s Got Talent

For once, I have something on a little lighter note. Thailand has it´s own versions of western television talent shows. The most popular lately is "Thailand´s got Talent" patterned after the widely popular British and American shows. As with most of these shows, there always seems to be one "shocker" performance in the season. This year is no exception. The singer is Nuntrita Khampriranon aka "Bell". She is quite talented and has a big surprise for the judges. At 1:05 things get interesting, but you need to see the first minute to fully understand the rest. I found a version with english subtitles and posted it below. The translation isn´t perfect, but you should get the idea.

Now, wasn´t that fun? Had me fooled. What about you?

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One Month Later

Well, here I am. April is coming to a close. It´s been a little over a month now since this whole ordeal with my arrest and legal battle in Thailand began. To be perfectly honest, I am amazed that I am still walking the street through the process. I shouldn´t be too surprised though, because a little over a year ago I never even expected to live from one day to the next. By all rights, I should have been dead years ago, but I just keep hanging on. There are a few Thai friends of mine that get a big smile whenever they see me. One in particular speaks pretty good English. He always gives me a big hug and says ¨Yeah!!! You still alive!!!¨. In a future post, I´ll try to compile a list of all the situations that he´s seen me survive to give you some perspective.

Today is Saturday here, and no calls from the ¨boys in brown¨ this week. I´ve spoken to the others who were arrested with me, and to some of the guys who got arrested on the second immigration raid after us. All of us are just ¨twisting in the wind¨ so to speak. The waiting is the hardest part. The ¨old me¨ would have completely lost his mind by this point, that´s not to say that I don´t feel close sometimes. Sure, there are things that I would like to have, in order to make this whole thing easier, but I just make due with what I have.

I got a great quote sent to me by an old Aussie buddy of mine a couple weeks ago. The quote goes as follows.

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you." - A.A. Milne

Just in case you´re not familiar with Mr. Milne, I´ll give you a hint. The line above was spoken in one of his books.....by Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh. Funny where things come from sometimes to give you a little boost. That´s all for me at the moment. I should be able to post some case details in the next day or two now that the new passkey system is up and running. It will allow me to speak a little more freely about the specifics without reprisals from the authorities.

Take care everyone,
Matt

Monday Monday

Not much time for a post this evening, but I´m doing OK. I´ve been all over today doing what I have to in order to get by to make a living, and gain what information I can along the way. I´ve picked up a few tidbits today, and I´ll do my best to share them in the next day or so if I can. I´m still waiting on the call from the good folks at the local courts, so it´s still a waiting game at this point. When it hits, it will hit like a freight train at 120 KPH sending me to who knows where, so I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

Today, I had two challenges. The first was the current netbook I am working with. It´s very small with a small keyboard which happens to be Spanish, and on a Spanish Linux OS. The shift, alt, and ctrl keys all give me wierd stuff with all the funny spanish accents above letters and such. To make matters worse, the ¨I¨ and ¨R¨ keys only work with EXTREME pressure applied. Adding injury to insult is the complete absense of a working ¨number seven¨ key. Please note that I had to spell that instead of simply hitting the number seven. Geez... My second challenge was finding a printer today. Internet cafes are a dime a dozen here, but finding one with a printer that is not A: out of ink, B: out of paper, or C: just plain broken within a 5 KM radius proved to be quite difficult and I´m pretty sure I put on at least 10 KM in walking alone today. In the end, I walked 20 or more kilos to spend 3 cents to have one page printed. Thankfully, the weather was beautifull, so I didn´t mind all that much.

OK, enough complaining for the day. Time get some sleep and do it all over again.

Take care everyone.

A little Humor for Once

With all the craziness lately, I was happy to find a funny email sent by a friend this morning. I thought I would just pass it along and take a bit of a break from all the serious stuff. Most people in western countries take for granted the rather organized nature of traffic. For those who have been in places like this you will understand the way things work. My only description of the traffic here is ¨organized chaos¨, but somehow they make it work. The following list is written jokingly of course, but you wouldn´t know it by watching what goes on in the streets here. Enjoy.

• It is hoped that this definitive list will be soon be adopted as the official driving code of Thailand, in the absence of any other such known publication, so that all drivers on the road will act in strict accordance with it.

1. The Mercedes Benz always has right of way.
2. The more wheels you have, the more right of way you have. (Except when Rule #1 applies.)
3. Anything with two wheels or less does not count as a vehicle and should be disregarded completely. Even if it’s a 1800 cc Harley Davidson the size of the average Thai house.
4. If you need to turn off, then turn off. If that means a right-angled swerve across three lanes on two wheels so you don’t miss your turn, please go ahead. We’ll just fit in with your plan. No need to indicate your intention.
5. If in the process of executing that turn, you cause three motorcyclists and a tuk tuk to end up in the ditch, add 5 points.
6. Indicators should only be used in the following fashion. If someone is behind you and wanting to overtake, put on your right indicator. This means either a/ it is clear and safe to overtake now or b/ don’t overtake now a bus is coming over the blind rise at a speed approaching 130km/h. It will soon become apparent which meaning was intended.
7. Do have as many Buddhist amulets on the dashboard as possible. If you’re involved in a fatal accident, never mind — there’s always another life, and another …
8. Traffic jams can be frustrating, so, as soon as you get any open space at all, get your vehicle to its highest possible top speed. As a guideline the rpm counter should be kept in the red zone in event of any open road.
9. When joining a busy main road from a small side road, proceed directly into the intersection without stopping – or even pausing – for other traffic. This selfishly indulgent act of stopping and checking will only cause confusion for those behind you, with the possible result of them rear-ending you.
10. When on a motorcycle, do not wear a helmet, and ride as fast as the bike will possibly go while using cars, buses, elephants, and chickens as slalom course markers. Irrespective of traffic conditions, possible dangers lurking around the corner, and pedestrians foolishly crossing the road at a marked pedestrian crossing, maintain this speed (once again, the red zone on your rpm gauge is a reliable indicator). After all, in the event of some other idiot doing the wrong thing, you want to be killed outright, not maimed.
11. On the subject of pedestrian crossings, these are known to foreigners as ‘zebra crossings’. There are no zebras in Thailand. Ignore. Proceed as usual.
12. Do not wear a seat-belt. This will delay you when you stop at 7-11 to buy more beer for the drive, resulting in late arrival for the party. This is not acceptable to your thirsty friends.
13. In the event you become completely, utterly, motherlessly drunk when drinking with your friends do not — repeat: DO NOT! — leave your vehicle there and attempt to walk home. In your drunken state you might be tempted to actually use a pedestrian crossing on foot, without observing the golden rule of crossing any road in Thailand: look Right, look Left, look Up then look Down before you cross. The buggers will get you from anywhere!
14. Red lights. This is merely an optical illusion – all traffic lights in Thailand consist of three different shades of green. What you think is red is actually just dark green. Proceed as usual.

Hope you got a laugh out of that, and I have one more rule to add.

#15 Once a year during Songkran, all motorists must abide by all above rules, and must be armed with water pistols, super soakers, water balloons and buckets. It is your responsibility to distribute as much water to your fellow motorists and pedestrians as possible in a week´s time.

And people ask me why I avoid driving at all costs in this country.